


Strength of Sentiment

by TheBestTeacup



Category: The 100
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kabby, Post 3x13 speculation, set after this season
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 20:30:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6625105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBestTeacup/pseuds/TheBestTeacup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Abby and Marcus find their way back to each other after the events of ALIE</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strength of Sentiment

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I just write without purpose and see what happens. This is one of those times.

They had barely spoken since the end of ALIE. At first Marcus blamed it on more pressing matters—the cleaning up of Jaha’s mess, dealing for peace with Luna, returning their people to Arkadia and deciding once and for all who the leadership would be. He was surprised, given his mistakes in the past weeks, that he had been voted for as a chancellor but did not have the energy to question it too much. Instead he formed a council he knew without a doubt he could depend on. Bellamy, Raven, and Monty were all very young, but they had faced more than most on the ground and he knew with time and proper leadership they would be the best to assist him with giving their people a real chance at life.

Then there was Abby. The only other experienced adult on the committee, she was warmth and wisdom and understanding when it came to guiding the younger members of their leadership. Often he found her hugging Raven close whispering words of comfort to the still fragile girl, walking with Monty and listening to him describe the pain of his current loss, and sitting with many of the other kids and just being the presence they needed as they recovered from the City of Light debacle. Marcus knew that she was in need of her new role as “camp mother” just as much as the kids were in need of her taking on that responsibility. With Clarke so far away in Polis, serving as flame keeper for Luna, she needed something to focus all her love and energy on, and the wounded children were perfect for that. He knew this, and yet he couldn’t help but feel jealous when he watched her warm interactions with the others. Perhaps because when they found themselves alone she turned into something cold and unfeeling.

It was not often that he ever found them one on one anymore. Gone were the days of endless planning sessions that went into the late hours of the night. No longer did she seek him out for meals, or accompany him on his nightly walks of the perimeter. He had lost her. Lost her confidence, and her strength, and the warm brush of her fingers against his that always calmed him when he was feeling overwhelmed. Never did he catch her eyes studying his face when she thought he wasn’t looking, never did she smile at him. It was all impersonal interactions, too similar to the ones they shared in the sky, and it left him feeling as if nothing would ever be right again.

Not that he blamed her, of course. The scar on the back of her neck, as well as the scars on his wrists, were his fault. If he had only dragged her away from the camp during his escape, if only he hadn’t left her at the mercy of Jaha, those scars would be absent. And perhaps, he could have spared many others from similar fates. After all, the majority of the camp hadn’t taken the Key until after Abby endorsed it. He knew she felt keenly the guilt of what her people went through, could see it in her eyes anytime she had to help a panicking member of their tribe calm down from the emotional trauma that still plagued them.  He left her in this camp when he shouldn’t have, and for that he caused immeasurable pain to both the woman he loved and the people he was always failing to protect.

No wonder she hated him.

It was all so easy for him to see the logic of her feelings, but that didn’t mean he could so easily come to terms with the shift in their relationship. He had, after all experienced the utter joy that was Abigail Griffin. He knew now what it felt like to hold her body close to his, knew the feeling of her soft petal like lips opening beneath his rougher ones, and knew how she tasted and the slight noise she made when his tongue brushed over the roof of her mouth. For ten seconds, not so long ago, he had felt the best pleasure of his forty odd years, and he lost it five seconds after that when he left Arkadia, and Abby, behind. Now he was in hell, wanting so much to get that pleasure back, and knowing without a doubt that it would never happen. He didn’t deserve it.

And then Raven came to him.

Almost four weeks after ALIE was stopped and they had returned to camp he found himself walking the perimeter of camp late at night, checking for any signs of danger before he returned to his room to sleep. It was a fruitless effort, the peace they had found with Luna as commander meant they had very little to fear, but he did it just the same. More to spend as much time away from his lonely rooms as he could than for any other reason.

It was as he was on the final leg of his walk that the young mechanic approached him, her eyes down cast and her arms wrapped around herself, in the way she was often seen as of late. The recent events had hit all of them hard, but none had been so affected as Raven. Marcus knew Abby was doing all she could to help the girl, but he also knew that it was going to be a long journey before she was able to return to any sense of normalcy.

“Marcus we need to talk,” Raven whispered, looking around to make sure there weren’t any people around to over hear her. Not that there would be this late at night.

“Is everything okay?” he responded, reaching out to touch her shoulder but halting his actions when he saw her close in tighter around herself. That was something Sinclair would have done, and he had a feeling Raven needed no reminder of her lost father figure. “Is your pain troubling you more than usual, because I am sure Abby would be the one to-“

“This is about Abby.”

The girl’s voice was laced with enough pain and worry over their mutual friend that Marcus could not help the wave of fear that washed over him in that moment. Was Abby sick? Was she in pain? Where was she? It was no secret Raven had started sleeping in the doctor’s rooms for comfort reasons. Wouldn’t Abby have noticed the girl wasn’t there? Unless she was unable to notice?

“Marcus calm down,” Raven hissed, some of her old fire flaring up for a moment, before she looked around once more, “she is fine. Physically anyway. But I am still worried.” When he didn’t answer, just encouraged her to go on with a simple look, she sighed and ran a hand over her face, “She won’t get out of the shower.”

“What?”

“She got into the shower like an hour ago, and won’t get out. I called to her a few times, but she wouldn’t answer so finally I forced my way in to make sure nothing had happened.” Here she paused, her head shaking as she studied her feet, “she is just kneeling on the floor, just kneeling there and sobbing. I tried to her to calm down, tried to get her to come out, but she refuses. She kept slapping me away, so I figured it would be better for me to come for you.”

“Why?”

This earned him an incredulous look and an eye roll that was all Raven before she went on, “Because she keeps whispering your name. She keeps saying how sorry she-“

Marcus didn’t let her finish, the anguish at Abby tormenting herself over _him_ being enough motivation to have him turning from the girl and running as fast as he could towards the area where Abby’s rooms were housed. He made it there in record time, only pausing for a moment outside of her bedroom door, wondering if he was making a big mistake before reminding himself that this was about Abby and not about him. She might hate him later for disturbing her privacy, but for now he needed to focus on her current pain. He needed to help her despite the ramifications.

With that in mind he entered the code to her rooms, grateful to find she hadnt changed it, before bee lining his way to the back where her bathroom was set up. He paused once more at the door, but after a deep breath he slid that door open as well, and was met with a cloud of steam that overpowered him for a brief moment. Their camp had plenty of hot water heaters, all restored after the crash to earth, and since Abby was showering so late it made sense that they were still functioning at full capacity. However, the amount of steam also told Marcus that the water was perhaps too hot, and that pushed all remaining strands of hesitation from his mind. He didn’t even pause to consider his actions as he made his way to the shower, stripping his clothes off in a hurry as he went. He was fully nude when he reached the curtain, and he paused only for a second more before he pushed it aside and took a daring step into the small space.

He bit back a cry of shock at the intense heat of the water, but the huddled woman on the floor instantly drew his attention away from the scorching liquid that cascaded over him.

Abby sat, just as Raven described, under the fall of water, her hair braided and hanging soaked over one shoulder as she curled herself around her knees and sobbed. From what he could see in the cloud of steam that surrounded him, her back was bright red from the heat of the shower, and that was what spurred him onward. In a few seconds flat he was reaching for the controls of the shower, turning down the temperature, before falling to his knees beside the cowering woman. He body would curse him later, but he didn’t care, all he wanted to do in that moment was comfort Abby.

She was not going to make it easy, however. No sooner did he reach out to touch her, did she let out a stifled shriek and slide away, her eyes wide with fear.

“Abby-“

“No no…you can’t be here…please…she will find you…she will make me do things…please you need to leave.”

He gazed down at her, brow furrowed as he took in the glazed look of her frantically darting eyes. He was no expert on trauma, but even he could see she was not in this place. She was somewhere else, locked in a fight with a computer chip that no longer controlled her, and he had no idea how to draw her back to the present. Still, he had to try, so he reached out once more and despite her wince ran his hand gently over her shoulder.

“Abby, she can’t hurt me. She is gone. Remember?”

“Nooo…she is in my head. She makes me forget things. She makes me do things. You need to leave before she comes back. I can’t hurt you again.”

“She isn’t coming back Abby. Clarke stopped her, remember? Do you remember Clarke?”

She nodded an almost offended look on her face, “Of course I do, she’s my daughter.”

Marcus smiled encouragingly, “Yes. And what is her middle name?”

“Morgan.”

“Yes, see you remember that much. Let’s see what else you remember. Why did you become a doctor?”

“You don’t need a reason to help people.”

The long ago words of Abby’s father had him smiling wider, especially as repeating them seemed to make Abby relax slightly. Dr. Walters had always been insistent that his daughter follow in his footsteps, and whenever she balked at the idea; whenever she asked him _why_ , that was the answer he would give her.

“Yes, I remember your father saying that often. Didn’t you make him a gift with that quote?”

“Yes,” Abby nodded eagerly, “A…a…a desk weight! Made out of scrap metal! I used a scalpel to etch the words in to it, and ruined the blade terribly, but he didn’t scold me.”

“Yes! But he did make you…um…I forget the punishment.”

“I had to clean the surgery tools for a whole month before he would let me do anything else useful in the med bay.”

Her giggle and shake of her head lit Marcus up from the inside, the brief joy on her face giving him hope that he would have her back to him soon. Then just like that her eyes flicked down to his wrist, and her face crumpled all over again. But this time she was not upset over the prospect of hurting him, she was upset because she _had_ hurt him. Not that he saw it that way, he knew it had been that demon of Jaha’s that had controlled her actions, but he knew from the familiar look of self-blame in her eyes that she did not see things as clearly as he did.

He didn’t give her a chance to react, barely gave her even the slightest warning, before he was darting across the shower floor and pulling her into his embrace. She went stiff in his arms for a moment but, as if she lacked the energy to fight him, she relaxed and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Why are you doing this?” she whispered brokenly, even as one of her hands came up to clench around his bicep.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Marcus knew what her answer would be, knowing her too well and recognizing her self-loathing all too well, but he still winced when she pressed her face into his neck and whispered “I nearly _killed_ you Marcus. Why would you comfort the person that allowed someone to drive nails through your body?”

“Abby,” he reached down and cupped her chin in his hand, guiding her eyes up to look into his, “ _you_ didn’t do that. You were not in control. ALIE, that cyborg bitch, did that. She only used your body as a puppet.”

“But if I had been stronger, if I wasn’t too sentimental, I wouldn’t have been in that position to begin with.”

Despite the seriousness of the situation Marcus let out a laugh and pressed a kiss to the woman’s forehead, “Too sentimental? When has that ever been a problem?”

“Sentiment causes weakness.”

_You have a strength that is not weakened by sentiment._

A cold hand clenched at Marcus’ heart as Jaha’s old words floated through his head, “Who told you that?”

There must have been more malice in his voice than he intended because Abby shivered in his arms, and looked away timidly, “Jaha…when I fought ALIE.”

“That son of a- wait…you fought ALIE?”

Abby nodded, closing her eyes and giving a shaky breath, “Right after I saved Raven. I kept trying to fight her control off, kept trying to keep her grimy hands from tearing my brain away. I told her and Jaha that giving in to them was weakness and I would not be a part of their plans. Jaha only laughed at me, and told me I was the weak one. That I could have fought him harder if I hadnt been so sentimental. That I could’ve chosen my mind over Raven’s death. Then he had ALIE…he had her make me relive all the times my sentiment hurt someone or got them killed. Because I am weak.”

Anger boiled through Marcus’ blood as he thought of how his girl must have suffered, but he pushed the feelings aside and pressed his lips against her head, closing his eyes and shaking his head, “No, you are _not_ weak. You are the strongest person I know. If you didn’t save Raven, that bitch would have kept going. She would have hurt Jackson, and person after person until you gave in. Your sentiment saved people Abby, and that is strength.”

“But it almost got you killed.”

“No, because I was there, and I know you were holding back. You hesitated too many times to count. You could have done so much worse to hurt me, but you didn’t.”

Abby shook her head and sobbed, “I was watching Marcus. It was surreal. Seeing you suffer through eyes I had no control over, but I couldn’t fight her. If I had you wouldn’t have new scars.”

“If you hadn’t I would be dead, and you can’t convince me otherwise.”

“You sure do sound sure of yourself.”

“I’m not sure of myself, I am sure of you.” Marcus cringed at the corniness of his words, but Abby either didn’t notice or didn’t care. Instead she studied him for a second before bringing a hand up to brush the wet strands of hair out of his eyes.

“I know I don’t deserve-“

“You deserve everything,” he insisted, making her jump slightly with the intensity of his voice.

“Well then, since I do not have the energy to argue, can I ask you for a kiss?”

She did not need to ask him twice. Marcus groaned like a starving man setting eyes on a feast and dove forward to press his lips against hers. Beneath him Abby gasped at the intensity of the moment, and gripped his hair tighter, not even protesting when his tongue shot out to invade her mouth. She was like putty in his hands, and Marcus rejoiced at the softness of her body molding against his.

All too soon their passion got a hold of them, and it was then that he became aware of not only their nakedness, but the chill that was taking over his bones. Groaning he pulled away from the woman he was cradling, and rested his head against hers, “I think you used up every ounce of hot water in the camp.”

Abby shivered beneath him, and nodded, “Yes, we should probably get out before we catch our deaths. I am pretty near freezing.”

Standing, Marcus flipped off the water and pushed aside the curtain to reach for a towel to dry Abby off. Gently he rubbed the material over her skin, catching any excess water, before wrapping it around her torso. He then grabbed a towel for himself and awkwardly tied it around his waist. For a moment they just stood there, the cool air doing nothing to help their cold temperatures, and he found himself wondering what the proper thing to do in that moment was.

Abby, suddenly a very different person than she had been over the past few weeks, seemed to have no qualms about the situation. She bravely stepped towards him, and ran her fingers down his chest, “I know this might seem forward, but I have a feeling Raven won’t come back tonight. And I am _so_ cold and in need of body heat…”

“Well I could always go find Raven for you,” he whispered, both to tease and to make sure they were on the same page.

“Oh…you could. But the best body heat is formed from a little friction, and I didn’t realize you minded sharing said experience with other people.”

Marcus balked at her words, the images they produced making him blush furiously.

“You are evil,” he moaned as he scooped the small woman into his arms and disappeared into the bedroom to both heat her body, and finish healing her soul.


End file.
